Monday, October 30, 2006

fucking leave, the fog won't lift

we all got lost a little. who is to blame, we can quest until we wear off, the fog won't lift. our spiritual strength discolors our hair and stretches out our skin.
we all got lost a little.
we all grew out of our old bodies, changed our eyes' direction.
what's left today that was here a year ago? you in me. fuckin leave. leave.

Monday, October 16, 2006

NOBODY LIVES IN THIS PLACE*

but nobody lives in this world. and so after all this 'madly believing' crap I have to go back. I have to. nobody lives in this world.

nobody sees it. this is mine. amazingly variant, glittering and full of wonder. damn it noone is here to play.

crushing in the same plane. I am so done living in my world. this is what it is this is what it is. my unresolved psychic that resounds in my newly created nightmares. it is the panic-fear of being not understood. Incommunicable..


I cannot live here any more I am claustrophobic of imagined spaces. metaphors are armies that have invaded my mind and oh god oh god... let me overturn all your city buses, this is MY city, and buses are NOT allowed in My city (they make me motion sick). so let me crush them all. nobody is capable of getting inside this train of vaguely expressed ambiguous mushiness. letting too much inside, leaving no room for wonderful honey beehives.



Wednesday, October 11, 2006

destroyed

there is nothing around
there is nobody
the world is sensation
tingling
it feeds us

locked in a hug
with the essence



maybe just lips touching
but even lips touching
are for the sake of awareness
of each other

like this hug





we have it all










on the other side
you asked: "how was it?"
I said "it was lonely"

wow you laugh
so eagerly, whole-heartedly
your laugh is my weakness
your laugh
your laugh

your entire body
fills up and spills
in boils of energetic melody
of happy laughter

as we walk in the very middle
of a street that is fully pedestrian
and that perfect round full moon
is not perfectly in the center
as we talk about
how it probably does appear in the center
on some other street in the West direction
and you offer that we go there


but not too often

*******************

I watched the walls collapsing all around you. the whole Kremlin falling. no defense. you are naked in front of me. answering every question. what's in your head? too much. so much. and I can just watch this muchness spilling inside you, covering you, and, finally, completely crushing you. you are being destroyed. in front of my very eyes. you grab your hair, helplessly. I am locked in astonishment.

you are completely destroyed. we take our jackets and leave in exhaustion.
I will do anything for you.